Could you see me wearing Etnies?

Etnies and toaster strudels! We are fat and want to wear birk clogs! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

In 100 feet, make a left turn for nosy bitches.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

It's Bob and Jenna. We're nosy bitches. It's Bob and Jenna. Come take a listen. It's Bob and Jenna, the nosy bitches.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

It's iCarly. What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 0:23

You know what? I didn't watch iCarly, so I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Oh, I was just saying it's iCarly because of the countdown.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Oh. You were an iCarly fan, weren't you? Loser.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

iCarly was actually pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Yeah, until you find out when she was 14 years old making out a 21-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Okay, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Yeah, I saw it on the interweb this week.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Um yeah. The guy who was in Hannah Montana also is in iCarly, and apparently they were making out with each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Who?

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Did you watch Hannah Montana?

SPEAKER_01 1:06

The brother?

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Jesse, I think was his name.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

The rock star looking dude that Miley dated in the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Mm-hmm. Who's old?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yeah, I think he was like 21 and she was 14. It's all on Twitter, so don't it's all on Twitter, so it may not be accurate. But you know what? Twitter is where I get all my news these days.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Twitter and TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Twitter and TikTok. Facebook's not reliable.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

No. There's so many fake pages.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

So many fake pages. I'll tell you what, we missed one week. And we missed so much. So much. Summerhouse alone should take us like an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

I feel like the weeks we miss are like big weeks too. Like really, like this, like other weeks we could skip would be way easier to skip because it's like, okay, there wasn't really much. No, like the weeks that we have to miss or like have missed, every like the whole like world blows up.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

The whole world basically has blown up. So let's jump right into the deep end of the pool.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Jump right into the deep end. Can you swim? Okay. That was cheesy. Okay, first let's start with it feels like we're back in the early 2000s again. Tiger Woods got a DUI.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Did you see the car?

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Roll it over.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Rolled it over, bro. It's like eight in the morning. Why are you drunk?

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Why are you drunk? Like, you're an alcoholic. Something isn't right with you, Tiger.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Right. Eight in the morning driving, like, haven't we learned our lesson? Granted, money can solve a lot of problems.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, but like, not if one, you kill someone or yourself by drunk driving.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

It's true. It's really true. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

I love them.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

These are my favorite. If you've never had a twin snake, I've had a twin snake. You're missing out, people. So tiger stay off the road.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Okay. Stay off the road for real. Um, Moment of Silence. I can't believe it. Rest in peace. Chuck Norris. It's so sad. No.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

I'll say this one thing.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

I watched Walker Texas Ranger with my grandpa.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

My mother loved that show.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

He was the shit.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

I don't agree. I've never got the Chuck Norris type.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

In the show.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Maybe in this show, but like Chuck Norris fought a rabbit and the rabbit died. Like, you know all that stupid shit, like Chuck Norris fought the moon.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Chuck Norris has. He invented the Roundhouse kick.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Chuck Norris invented the toaster, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

That's the only connection I have to Chuck Norris. So moment of silence. Now we're done, and you can quit shit talking to someone who passed away.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Listen. I don't know what I believe, so I can do whatever I want. I believe.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

No.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I it's from the Polar Express.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Oh. When he was trying to get away from the case, I thought you were re I thought you were just repeating I believe over and over, but I wasn't like I wasn't watching or listening to how you said it until just now when you were like, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

We're gonna get so much hate, just FYI, because we're both eating right now. Fucking fat asses. How do these people talk about people's weight when they look like they weigh a whale beluga fat ass bitch and eating on the podcast? People comfort us with that.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Fat and being smelly don't like have to go together.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Listen, I'd rather be fair.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

You put words in our mouth, and that's defamation of character.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

We will sue the shit out of you. Listen. My mom worked for lawyers for years. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

I don't remember. I don't remember the guy's name.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

My mom worked for lawyers for years, so I have connections. I will sue all of you for defamation, slander, libel, whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

My dad who invented Toaster Strudel would not be very happy to hear this.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Could you imagine your dad invented toaster strudels?

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Your life would be changed forever. Or you'd be fatter.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

I haven't had a toaster strudel in years. I want one so bad now that I just said that. You know what used to piss me off though? They didn't give me enough icing.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Let me tell you something about that.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Speaking of fat ass, guess what I used to do with my toaster strudel?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Double icing.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

So, no, I would put icing on it, and then I would eat an icing. So then I would run out of icing to the toaster strudel. I would be like, oh, why don't they give us enough icing?

SPEAKER_00 7:36

You know, Eric, next time you buy toast do you buy toaster strudels in the bar?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

No, I haven't. Well, I used to. I haven't had any in years, though. Probably since COVID.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Whenever you go grocery shopping next, buy some toaster shirtles and then go to the cake aisle and buy icing and then ba-bam-ba-boom-ba-boom.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

However, let me know what you do when you have grown people's money. You can buy ice extra icing for your toaster strudels.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

But unless it's the chocolate-filled one, and then you just gotta throw it out because no one has time for chocolate toaster strudel.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I love the straw, I like strawberry with the white icing. I don't mind a chocolate toaster strudel. They're good.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

No, no, I don't like a chocolate barbecue.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

I liked the, I guess it was raspberry, maybe. I don't know. That had the blue icing.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Speaking of raspberry, blue raspberry pop tart, that was the shit.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Dude, I just got a new box of those just now. And my grocery order is that's like my that's like my late night snack. If I don't eat pop tarts, on the weekend.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Only time I eat Pop Tarts is if I go to a restaurant and they make it. But I miss a smaller Pop Tarts with the fancy nut, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

I'll tell you what. So in two Saturdays, I'm running a half marathon. I signed up two months ago.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

And you're eating twin snakes right now?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

At 9 40 at night, come for me. So the night before I'm going to dinner with friends to get some carbs before the race the next day. Well, they were listening to all these Italian restaurants, and I said, Well, I don't really like this one called Rico's, and everyone's like, everyone in Kansas City loves Rico's, apparently. But I'm like, I don't get the hype, and everyone's like, it's because it's cheap. You're bougie. And I'm like, listen, we make grown-up money. If I want to pay $100 for a plate of pasta, I'm gonna pay $100 for a plate of pasta. I'm not going to Olive Garden.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Okay, I will admit pasta house is good.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

The rolls, that's about it. And you only find pasta houses in small cities, small towns.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

I get Alfredo, but with Cavotelli noodles. And when I tell you it is to die for.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Is it life-changing?

SPEAKER_01 10:12

It's just so good. That's like what I craved my whole pregnancy with Gia.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Mmm. Hmm. I don't think though I've been in Pasta House since high school.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

My god. I just had it almost two Fridays ago. Two weekends ago.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

You know what? I do have some beef with Taco Bell. Let me tell you why.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Beef? Really? Yeah. Literally.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah. I have figurative and literal beef with Taco Bell. So yesterday I was trying to DoorDash Taco Bell for dinner. And I was on the Taco Bell app. And uh the Nacho Bell Grande was not a combo on the app anymore. So I went to Uber Eats. Same thing. Went to DoorDash. Same thing. The only way I could get a combat, a combo with the Nacho Bell Grande is if I built one instead of just clicking Nacho Bell Grande Combo.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Everything separate.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Right. So uh you're paying more money because you're paying for everything separate.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I'm like, Taco Bell, come on, do better. I used to eat a Nacho Bell Grande like two times a week. Granted, I didn't even do that anymore.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Taco Bell, like I'm not kidding, four or five times in the past week. I don't know. I'm on a Taco Bell kick.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Are you pregnant?

SPEAKER_01 11:30

No.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Last time I ate Taco Bell five times in a week, I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

You were pregnant? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Could you imagine? Don't wish that on me.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

No.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Women could not handle being pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

No, not at all. Women are superior. Women are the superior gender. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I was literally just about to say that. Women are the superior gender because you carry almost a 10-pound bait creature inside of your stomach.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Gia was 9 pounds 3 ounces when she was born. Chubby butt.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

It's because it's because all the fucking um Tosha Shrottles.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

No, it's because all the pasta house. She knows what she likes.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

We got way off topic just now.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

I don't care. This is our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

That's right. Who gave these people podcast equipment? Jokes on you. What equipment?

SPEAKER_01 12:38

What equipment, bitch.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

We stopped using microphones in season one.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Like literally, episode one was the last time I used that, I think.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I don't even think mine worked. I just plugged it into Academic.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

I don't think mine is. I gotta find that.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Jokes on you, bitches.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

So let's get into the nitty-gritty niss.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Get back. Uh one more thing for celebrity, and then we'll get into TV. Nick Cannon. Being Malga.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

I mean, it's so dumb you can believe it.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

When he said the Republican Party freed slaves because the KKK is the Democratic Party. I said, um, Nick Cannon. Let's read a history book. Let's do some research. Yes, Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. But he was a good person.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

But he initially uh wanted to end slavery because he wanted black people to be able to fight in the war. Because he wanted to control, like didn't want to lose control of the union.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

And boom, Nick Cannon.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Like he wanted to save the union. Like, do like literally all you have to do is Google. Google. Google. Google.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Boog. And that's why Nick Cannon has 13 children by 15 baby mamas. Do the math. The math does the math.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

He's an idiot. And so are his baby mamas. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

I don't even know the baby mamas. And all his kids have weird ass names.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I only know Mariah. Obviously. And Brie, because she's on selling Sunset.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Mmm. Okay. What baby number is she?

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Um, I don't know. He's had babies since her, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Well, there was just a Dairy Queen commercial on the TV, and the French fries looked phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

They have good french fries if you get them fresh or you get them at the right one.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah, yeah. Dip them in your ice cream. Mmm.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Mmm.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

That's the best. Okay, let's get into it. First, we have Southern Charm. I And I know you don't love Southern Charm.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

I'm not on season two and I was like, I can't. I can't.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

You gotta get past it. Craig. Craig is. They just did the reunion.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Is Craig back to his ways?

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yes. Like Craig is never gonna change. A tiger is never gonna change his stripes. He's drinking again. He can never really take accountability and apologize. Sally, Sally is a dumb idiot. She was so obsessed with Craig. And he was leading her on, I believe, deep down wholeheartedly. Because they were hanging out in his hot tub until like three in the morning. They were texting, they would talk, they would hang out all the time. She confessed her feelings for him. Meanwhile, behind her back, her best friend, which they do throw around the term best friend a lot on the show, her best friend was talking to Craig as well. And she told her best friend Charlie. She told her best friend how much she liked Craig. And as soon as Craig told her no, like we're strictly platonic, he was taking Charlie on a date. But now Charlie, they all went to Mexico. Charlie got to see the real Craig, and she's like, mm-mm. So now she's dating someone off um Southern Hospitality.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

And wasn't Sally just hanging out with Kyle Cook?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Oh, that's probably speaking of Kyle Cook.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Messy, messy.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

This is all messy. Allegedly.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

It's not a legend. It's coming to fruition.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

It's it's true.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Dumois. They're more than hanging out. He's hanging in her.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Dumois reported that the cast.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

If you guys don't know who Dumois is, Dumois gets secret tips from like celebrities themselves and like tell them. Now these are Bravo liberties. Let's like not get it twisted. But people can like will tell on their friends or like give Dumois like insider tips.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Dumois said the cast is pissed. They don't know how to react. They're all taking Sierra side. If you were on Instagram and TikTok this year. I was an Amanda fan.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

I'm on Sierra's side. Amanda has always low key annoyed me.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I am waiting for Hannah to step up, Paige to step up. But everyone's posting like facial reactions on Instagram and TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yes, they're all like Yeah. Like Lindsay, Craig, or not Craig, Carl, KJ, Bailey. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Listen, it's so I before we get on tonight.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

It's not looking good.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

So Bravo execs have been meeting. Because the backlash that this may cause, they have different contingency plans depending on how the fans react. If the Sierra and Amanda are willing to film anymore. If Sierra and Wester. They're comparing this to Scandaval?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Because that's her best friend. Her literal best friend.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Literally last week, she was literally saying, I love you. I will do anything for you. I stand by you.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

But what gets me is this is the type of guy West is. He's a he's a hookup partner. That's it. And like to see the preview of Southern Charm getting ready to happen, where he like hits on another girl, right after like Sierra obviously like gives in and starts like giving him like starts to warm up to giving him another chance, he goes off and is a douchebag. Like, West, like get it together. You're a loser.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

I'm assuming Wes initiated this. And Amanda got attention.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Or she was drunk and like was eating all the attention up.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

And I don't want to blame it on being drunk, but no, and we all know that when you're in a bad relationship, the first person to give you like good positive attention, you latch on.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

To be honest, I thought it was gonna be Ben.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Shit, it should have been Ben.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

But if we lose Summer House because Wes in Sierra won't phone it, kick Wes's ass off. Even though he's become a fan favorite again, my he's really ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

I don't think we're gonna lose Summer House. I mean, if we were gonna lose Summerhouses because Summerhouse was already going bye bye.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Oh, when you're talking to other reality stars to join season uh 11, like I don't think we're like why are we asking Natalie Negroti, Negrati, or however the fuck you say her last name to join? Why are we asking Natalie from Big Brother, who's almost 40, to join Summerhouse in season 11? We just got rid of Kyle, who's oh 44 years old.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

She's immature and childish. I don't know. Acts younger than what she is.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

I mean, I I don't I don't get it, but whatever.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Summerhouse, they're all we know is maybe they're not saying the bummer house.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Ooh, I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

It's a bunch of bums living there.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

So maybe uh West and Sierra and Amanda are waiting to react until the reunion where it's gonna get messy.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Oh, I can't wait for the reunion. When is that?

SPEAKER_00 21:38

They'll probably film it in a in a week or two. Because they've shown uh thir 14 or 15 episodes, I think, right now. And there's usually 17 or 18 or 19 episodes in a season. So it's about time. And I hope Sierra just wrecks them. Maybe Paige will come on. And just wreck them up.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

I mean, it doesn't get worse. Well, I guess you could say it doesn't get worse, but it it actually does. Like if we cross over to another show that we watched.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

What happened?

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

What is wrong with people like even remotely thinking about someone's ex or someone's ex-husband?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Have we not heard of girl code, guy code, uh, any code in general?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

No code. In 2026, no code.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Code is dead. Code is dead. Yes, Chase is cool. Like, I think Chase is so funny on TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

But me too. He's such a troll. He's hilarious. But it's like uh and and you can and like Miranda's still like obviously mess, like not messy. That's the father for children. But she still like is his friend because like she'll comment on this shit and it's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

And the fact that Jesse sent flowers when she knew she fucked up, like Jesse. Flowers of all things.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

You're a loser, and you think flowers are damage control. I'm sorry. She's a you know what? I'm over her.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

We were all team Jesse with the whole Jordan thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

We were rooting for you.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

We were all rooting for you.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

You don't know what happened to.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

And then you go out and make out with Chase, like, and then you send aposid flowers. Like, come on, Brody.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

So true what people are saying. Is Chase, are Chase and Dakota the only men in Utah? Like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Right. So speaking of Dakota, did you see he just got casted on a new show, reality show?

SPEAKER_01 23:50

I'm so you can literally watch him and his mannerisms and know he truly is a narcissist.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

He recorded her once he got her to the point of throwing chairs. Is she right for throwing chairs? No. No. Is she right for throwing chairs while her daughter is around and could potentially and like hurt her? No. Like that's nut nut case level. But he took out the phone to record her after he got her to the point of breaking. And then you released the footage because you knew her show was about to come out. You are a true life loser. True life MTV, where are you at? True life, I'm Dakota Mortenson, and I'm a loser.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

We're gonna get to true life in a minute, but oh my god. And then um, you have uh what who? What when where why? What her mom, Taylor's mom. We were just talking about Taylor's mom. You are too old to be getting involved in this petty drama.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

She's ugh.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

She's cringe McGrange, the Grinch, cringe, cringe.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

And like you'd still be, I mean, you'd still not be cute. I don't wanna I don't think.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

If it weren't for the show. If it weren't for the thing, if it weren't for the show.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

If it weren't for Taylor and all the money that she brought in and starting the show, you wouldn't have all the work done that you've had, and you wouldn't look halfway decent, and that's and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Right, because you were drinking swig and eating brownies all day every day. All day every day. Um I am so upset that Jen and Zach are going to be leading Secret Lives and Mormon Wives, the LA edition.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Of all I'm not even interested. No, like Jen is up there with Dakota for the amount of lying she does.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Yes. Gaslight manipulation. And you know what?

SPEAKER_01 25:56

I really like Season one. I was like, something ain't right with her. Season two, I felt really bad for her because of all the like mental health stuff that she talked about. I'm done with her. She's a liar. She like manipulates, she lies, she starts unnecessary like drama between people.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Ugh. I don't even know if I want to watch the spin-off.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

We have Whitney and Connor, and everybody is begging for them to get their own spin-off. And I would live for that show.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

I would watch a show just then.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

He is the literal like He is such a dork, but he is so funny.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Such a dork. So cute.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

So the magic.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yes. I just I just love Connor.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

They redeem themselves. Redeem 100%.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Which I've always liked Connor. He's always been unproblematic, Connor.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Oh, Connor was problematic prior to the camera starting.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Besides season one when all the stuff about him came out. But when you know his backstory, you know what he's been through, like it helps. It doesn't excuse what he's done, but it explains it.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

For sure, for sure, for sure. Uh excuse me, that was gross.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

That's grotesque.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Oh MG, that was Grody McGrody. They are so great.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

I was like, I don't know if we've ever talked about it on a podcast. I'm pretty sure we have. But when we were when you got mad at me in high school and like I got talking to you, don't charge me for the rest of the day. And then I was like aggravating you because we were going to lunch and we were going up the same hallway, and I was like chasing you, and you were like running away.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

For everyone out there in the world, Jenna and I have known each other since the eighth grade when we were 12 years old. We were arch nemesis at one point.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

For like a day.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Yeah. When and then when I get to college, Jenna got so mad at me when I started drinking.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

I was like, this is not you, Bob James Monster.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Acting like my mom over here.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

I'm like, I don't even know you anymore.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

And then I invited her to a party at my house, and she gave me an atomic wedgie.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

I put him in a tow truck and went and ripped his underwear.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

I was so drunk. I was telling everybody that was my favorite pair of underwear and was trying to kill my mom.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

He was so pissed. He's like, these were my favorite underwear.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Well my god. Uh to be young again.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Man, and to think those were our big problems in life at one point. Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

My favorite underwear getting ripped during an atomic wedgie.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

My light's flickering.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Uh-oh. Is there a ghost?

SPEAKER_01 28:58

I don't know. I'm thinking it's just time to change the light bulbs because one in my bathroom is flickering too.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Or your house was haunted. It was a beer. We moved well, we moved in in 2023. Okay. So it's a little bit more. And you haven't changed your light bulbs in three years.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

They haven't been do they haven't done this. This is the first time.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Okay. Okay. Check it out.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

It's really annoying me, though.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

I'm sure it is. Like.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

We're gonna have to put like a warning on the video, trigger warning, flashy lights.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

If you're epileptic, don't look away. No, don't look away.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Are you all caught up on House of Villains?

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Um, I'm caught up via TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

When Kate put Tom up for banishment, and he was like, I was gonna go on Instagram and comment and like your post and then comment on people's comments. I was just like Tom.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

I was gonna support you. He's so full of shit.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

He just says stuff and he's like so dumb. Ever since Scandival happened, I feel like he's well, that's not true because when Stasi confronted him about making out with Ariana in the golden nugget pool, he's like, Yeah, I love that pool.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

And I love the golden nugget.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

She's like, that's an all-time low. He's like, Yeah, I love the golden nugget. Okay, he's always been such a douche. Speaking of, oh my god. Two days. And the valley is back.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

I'm so excited. Well, not the you have to watch Lala, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

I'd rather watch Lala than Sheena and it's gonna be. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Ugh.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Lala and Janet. Suck my big toe.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Sheena gotta. Somebody said that, you know, I thought I knew what good music was, and then I heard good as gold, and I realized good as gold is top tier, and I'm just like speaking of, remember when I found a little a license plate that said good as gold?

SPEAKER_01 31:21

Or a sticker?

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

There was a sticker on a car that said good as gold. That was like two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

We're behind. We're behind schedule.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

We are.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

We've been eat busy eating tomatoes because we're behind schedule.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Busy eating Taco Bell.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Troll us, please. We love the attention.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Please.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

We love the all you know, you know what this is. That's right. All publicity is good publicity, even if it's bad. This bitch is drinking a Dr. Pepper at 10 o'clock at night, and it's not a Friday or Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Oh no, I drink, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

I'm like, I'm only drinking Dr. Pepper if I'm drunk at night on a Friday or Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Oh no, I drink Dr. Pepper almost every day.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

I did go for a four-mile run yesterday morning and then got as soon as I got home, ordered ordered a um McBangle and a Dr. Pepper, and I drank a quarter of the Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Okay, that was a Sunday. And you weren't drunk.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

But it's 10 o'clock. I'm saying like at night time. You're drinking a Dr. Pepper. You're not gonna sleep.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

You're drinking a Yes, I will.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Oh my I didn't even tell you this.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

I couple weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving to St. Louis for work. And I you know I've been looking for the lemon lime Alani because everyone's been talking about it on TikTok. So I go to 7-Eleven and get gas, and they don't have it. So I get another No, I got it, but I got a different flavor. And about an hour into the drive, I started crashing out. But not just because I was drinking Alani, I was drinking Alani and a Dr. Pepper at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

What do you mean crashing out? Like sugar rush?

SPEAKER_00 33:16

No, like thinking I was gonna get fired and the world was ending. And this is not the first time I've crashed down on Alani. The first time I ever had an Alani, I thought I was having a heart attack. My skin was itching, like my arm was numb. I was like, I should not be drinking an Alani. And then I go ahead and drink another Alani. Like, what was I?

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Can you drank another one?

SPEAKER_00 33:40

With Dr. Pepper.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

Is there crack in Alani or something?

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Like, what I need you to drink an Alani tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

I don't drink those things.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

I stopped. I used to drink like three monsters a day. Listen, monster, if you want to sponsor me, I'll still drink three monsters again. Like, come on. Give me money. Give me Cheetos. Give me Monster. I'll I'll write a dart bike and change my name to Kyle. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

In ninth grade.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

I'll change my name to Kyle. I'll wear Fox.

unknown 34:16

Jeez.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

I'll get some etnes.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

Did you ever have those?

SPEAKER_00 34:23

So in seven, no, I think it was like in the sixth grade or seventh grade. My mom was like, I'm gonna buy you. I was like, I want a pair, and she's like, we went out shopping, and I was like, as soon as I tried them on, I was like, no, I can't wear these. These are not for me. Could you imagine me and Ednies?

SPEAKER_01 34:41

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

I wanted a white pair with a green E, and I was like, these are so cool. No, no, they were not.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

I don't think I ever looked at Ednies and was like, yeah, I gotta have those.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Maybe you should go buy a pair.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

I kind of want to. I was like, they're coming back.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

We were out shopping yesterday, and this this kid walked by us and he was wearing Birkenstock clogs. And I was like, am I too old to be wearing Birkenstock clogs?

SPEAKER_01 35:19

They're back.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

I was I know they've been back, but I'm like, that was my shoe back in high school, and my feet used to sweat so bad at them, and I was like, they were stinky mixed stinkers.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

I didn't feel like they were supportive. My feet hurt after wearing those suckers all day.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Yes, my feet hurt after wearing my Birkenstock sandals. Yes, yes, to like keep them on. Should we buy Birkenstock clogs and like bring it, yes, make it a thing? Okay, but you I'm not buying knockoff. You can't buy knockoff either. No, but even though you have two kids. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

No, I'm getting the Walmart brand. Time and train.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

Oh my! I'm pretty sure you made fun of me in high school because my mom bought me like a leather pair. I'm pretty sure you made fun of me.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

I don't remember that, but it sounds like something I would make fun of you for.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Like you're making fun of the kid because he buys his clothes from Walmart. That would be you.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Was it were they from Walmart?

SPEAKER_00 36:21

No, they're from shoe carnal, they weren't real. I don't I never had a real pair of working socks.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

I never had real-that's the fact your potatoes came in.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Jenna was such a bully.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

I was not. Just to you.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Just to me. I remember walking down the hall in ninth grade, and like um, you like saw me. I apparently like you started the sermon that I was staring at this bigger lady, bigger teacher's butt, and like you told everyone, like Bob was looking at her butt. This big uh this big teacher. What? And then you started another one, and I'm gonna text text you the name right now of the person. You started the rumor that I had a crush on this person.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Oh, I already it wasn't a rumor.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Who was it?

SPEAKER_01 37:22

I think does it start with V?

SPEAKER_00 37:26

No.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

I'm probably not spelling it right.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

M.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

It just can't I just hit Sid.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

I didn't even know.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Oh yeah, you started that rumor.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

I loved her.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I had the biggest crush on her.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

She had the biggest crush on you, I swear. I swear it.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Um, I didn't have the right body parts for her. Uh every once in a while she'll pop up on people I may know, and I'm just like, wow, she is scary.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Stop. That's rude.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

One point I shit at her. She don't remember me. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

She remembers you.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Oh my god. You know, I went we went to her high school reunion, and I was like, no one's gonna recognize me because I don't look at all like I did in high school. You're gonna be like, and everyone recognized me.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

We all look the same, just old as hell.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

No, I don't. I was I look like McLovin.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

I am McLovin. Chicken chicken yeah, player. Chicken chicken yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Fake ID, fake ID, fake ID.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

I love that movie.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

Oh yeah, I do too. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Chicken chicken yeah, player.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

I don't do we have anything else?

SPEAKER_01 39:06

No, I think we're I think we're done.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Oh my god. What what another great episode of the nosy another great episode of the nosy G you.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

So from now until we re- we film again, I'm gonna write down all my like all my like, I guess you would call it like the new thing right now is vocal stems. I'm gonna write all of them down because I say so many random things.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Okay, we'll do that. We'll do a vocal stems episode next week. What's that?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

But the children love the books. Like I say it for no reason from elf. Every day.

SPEAKER_00 39:47

Yes. Here's my one. I say it. A minimi mom's call. Broom broom. Broom broom.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

Get out, Mikal.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Get out, Mikal. My vocal sims have gone way up since um I've got on Vine TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Oh, hell yes.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

Where people When this guy is literally walking around in New York City at like saying vines and having people finish the sentence to the the what he says.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

I would be able to finish them.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

My favorite one is um two guys sitting not in the hot tub five p at apart because they're not gay. And then there's the one where it's like, you almost made me drop my croissants. And then there was road work ahead. Do not know that one.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

No.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

This kid's driving down the street and he sees a sign that says road work ahead. I sure hope it does.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

Oh, that one's that one's cheesy. I forgot about that one.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Yeah, there's the kid in the field. Look at all these chickens. Yeah. God, what a time to be alive.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

I miss Vine.

SPEAKER_00 41:04

I do too. Should we bring Brian's back?

SPEAKER_01 41:06

I miss when TikTok I miss when TikTok was short.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

It was like 10 seconds.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

And now I'm gonna post we're gonna post this whole podcast on TikTok. And someone's gonna no one's gonna watch our 45-minute podcast, and we're not gonna get any money. And we're gonna be poor. We're gonna be poor and we're gonna have to continue being teachers and salespeoples and till we die.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

One day I won't. One day I won't die.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

One day you won't die? Or one day.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

No, one day I won't have to do this anymore.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

Yeah, she's gonna go back to working at Save a lot.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Shop at Save is closed for good, so no, I won't.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Uh I got the door tour.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

I got the door tour.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

Alright, guys. Well, it's been another fascinating evening with you nosy bitches. It's been real smelly though. And really uh chunky. So go buy toaster shroudles.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

And by chunky, we mean a can of icing.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Yeah, because we're fat and we smell fat.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

P H A T.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

We were the fat nosy bitches. PHAT. Do you remember the brand baby fat?

unknown 42:30

Yes. I do.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Wasn't that Kamora Lee Simmons brand?

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Yes, it was, I'm pretty sure. Oh. Should we get juicy guitar Valor tracksuits?

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Duh.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

We're cheetah sisters. Stance again.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

They're making a cheetah girl for. We make a blumb family.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

Okay, how about by let's end this podcast with I make the face, you make the sound.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Okay. On the count of three. Or I'll make the face, and then you make the sound. One, two, three.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Okay, we'll do one more.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

One, two, three. Okay, okay. On that note, we got us to go.

SPEAKER_00 43:37

We got us to go. It's my bedtime. It's her bedtime. I gotta go take a poo, and we'll see you next Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

You say you gotta take a number two? See you next number Tuesday?